I really miss my mom

"A mother is a woman who can take the place of all others, but whose place no one else can take".

Today would have been my mom's 83rd birthday. Though she passed away 12 years ago.

Dad and mom, when they were really young, I'm not sure how old they are. I tell my older siblings, "I didn't know these people, my parents were old".

Now this is more like it. These are my parents, based on the house that this picture was taken in, mom was somewhere between 47-52. Mom had Rheumatoid Arthritis, she was diagnosed somewhere in her early 30's, I love this picture because the outward signs of it haven't started showing, she stands straight, she is still wearing shoes not slippers, and her hands aren't crippled. My face is shaped exactly like hers. I have a niece that tells me I look a lot like her now.

This was taken at mom and dad's 40Th anniversary party. That's me in the back with all my siblings. Mom was 55, I'm 20.

One year for mother's day Amanda got a cute frame, that has a quote around it. In it she put this picture, a printed version of the quote above, and an orchid that I took from my mom's casket arrangement and pressed. This was taken when we took Hannah to see her for the first time.

Little did I know the day this picture was taken, would be the last time I would see my mother alive. I remember crying when we left her that day, which I didn't usually do, and I didn't know why. This was in August of 1998, she passed away October 18, 1998. I spoke to her the evening before, I told her that we would be back to see her for Thanksgiving, but that didn't happen.

I have thought about my mom a lot lately, probably because my oldest daughter Amanda is getting married, and I wish she could be here. I just want to be able to call her up and say "mom, Amanda is getting married", as I did for so many other important things that happened in my girls' lives. I would love to be able to ask her how she felt when her daughters got married, especially the first one. I have older sisters that I could ask this question, and I probably will, though it's just not the same.

I love you mom!!